Deborahass1

Originally uploaded by stevie_pua

I want to say thank you to Deborah the Dancer for volunteering her ass for this test of my Flickr account. Cheers Debs. Stevie.

I’m struck between how a balance of cockiness and an ability to tone it down (in that sequence) empowers a sarger running solid game. Going through my mind a lot recently, for some reason, has been the idea that ‘If YOU don’t believe in yourself, then no one else will!’

Would you ever believe in the personal power of someone else if they appeared to totally lack that belief themselves? I wouldn’t. Start acting as if you believe in yourself!

A number of years back, I was sarging a girl with a great body and a reasonable face. It was her body that drew me in, I admit.

I knew her brother from our school days. She and I were waiting for the train home after an evening out. I was quite confident then, but less so than now. Even then, though, I picked up on her low self-esteem. I remember wondering at the time how a girl with a body like that could lack self-esteem. But she did.

She was so worried about her hair, how people would see her and whether she would fit into the ‘scene’, whatever that was. As she was recounting her fears-about-nothing, I was trying to look at my own reflection in a glass pane in the station – trying to figure out if I looked good enough for this chick.

Then one of those rare moments of absolute clarity hit me (regular clarify is commonplace). This chick, and chicks like her, are so obsessed with how they look that they have almost no interest in how other people look. My target was so interested in her own appearance as a source of attraction power that she spent no time thinking about how the guys looked. It was all about her. I’d been worrying about very little. After this realisation, I noticed it very often.

So, from then on I looked after myself and how I looked but I didn’t obsess about it as I’d done up to that point. I ate well, worked out and bought new clothes every now and then but I’d realised something from observing how this chick and others like her, thought.

They were, on the one hand, so interested in boosting their own appearance and yet also so insecure that they had no time or interest in judging how other people looked. Secondly, I saw that how these PUA guys LOOKED was of less import to the chicks than how the guys ACTED and that drew me onto analysing PUA beliefs, behaviours, personality conveyance, body language and frame control which seemed, and continue to seem, far more powerful than any physical look.

It’s all worth bearing in mind when you hit the field.

SteviePUA

I just finished a review of ‘The Four Hour Work Week ‘ by Timothy Ferriss for ‘Interesting Times’ magazine. I think it will be out in next month’s issue of the magazine. http://interestingtimesmagazine.com/

Interesting Times Issue 5 - Tim Ferriss Special Edition

Next week I have to go to the south coast of England to look for an apartment down there. It looks like I will be moving down there with my work and I have 6 weeks to get the move sorted out. If it goes well, I’ll be down there for two years. It’s always a small risk moving to a new place but I’m willing to take that chance because I have other options running in the background and can switch to those if the main plan doesn’t appeal once it is underway.

That means putting a move to Spain on hold for a while, but that is ok. This summer I did a lot of groundwork on what is required for a move to Madrid. That knowledge is definitely going to come in handy as a plan B. Either way, as Hannibal Smith says, I love it when a plan comes together. Spain might have become plan A in two years. It’s good to have options, so when I was on holiday last month I did an interview in Madrid and checked out the area for places to live, prices of apartments, living costs etc. All useful research (when is a holiday not a holiday – when I am involved). I like to combine activities for efficiency purposes. Learning information, getting new experiences and pleasure are not mutually exclusive. In fact there is much overlap if you set it up to work in that combination.

And I love finding ways at work to hack the system – to disappear from view and get paid at the same time. Then you can do the things you want while getting paid. It’s a variation on the Four Hour Work Week – free up time and automate income. I probe at interviews, observe logistics, try to read people and start creating a blueprint of the work environment and how to get inside it to make it work for me.

Combining these work ideas further with some of the Four Hour Work Week projects I’m involved with would be ideal. One of these projects lets me work remotely, so I’d have an income wherever I am. But Madrid and southern England can be expensive places to live – apartments I looked at in both places were 500-700 euros. The lifestyle in Madrid is far more attractive, though, and it is a capital city. I had a great time researching and unwinding there, I even visit the places I used to frequent when I lived in Madrid in the early 2000s.  

Fontana del Oro, Madrid

Back in England, I’ve been reading a bit more this week – finished ‘Just After Sunset’, by Stephen King.

Then I read in 2 days ‘The Contortionist’s Handbook’, by Craig Clevenger.

Both were really good reads. Recommended. Clevenger’s book reminded me of Irvine Welsh a lot.