Years ago, people got ahead in society through family connections or through their own ingenuity. Today there is more social mobility in the wealth creation market. Knowing people in the business is still important, but so are how you connect with people, how you market yourself and how you communicate to make a good impression.

Most students of PUA and seduction skills are attracted by the ability to increase their lay rate with attractive females. This motivates us to work on the social skills we need to attract females and manage our relationships. Wanting to have the skills that will lead us to being deeply satisfied in this area gives us intrinsic motivation. But wanting to do our jobs to make money for its own sake gives us extrinsic motivation.

When something connects with, and satisfies, our deep desires we tend to have a certain type of motivation. This is called intrinsic motivation and typically empowers us far more strongly than its opposite extrinsic motivation i.e. wanting to do something because of an external influence. Of course, there is sometimes overlap e.g. more money can, for some people, mean more access to females.

As PUAs, however, we should be careful about linking the two desires because solid game does not depend on having money, as such, but more on having the personality and communication skills necessary to attract and hold a quality female.

Getting ahead in your workplace can bring financial benefits which, in turn, can translate into more nights out and more generosity on your part but don’t necessarily have to equal solid game or success. In fact, for most AFCs, more money means more AFC activities.

Likewise, attracting a female with PUA skills does not have to depend on being introduced through the right people. As David DeAngelo says - ‘Attraction isn’t a choice’. When you have powerful PUA skills, your target can be attracted to you in spite of the social differences.

When you make the right approach in the right way, in the right context and display attractive qualities, even royalty are willing to give up their crown. Just look at Prince Felipe of Spain or Edward V111 of England. Both married who they wanted and were willing to give up the throne because of the attraction they felt. That’s how strong attraction can be.

The principle here I want to extend is that having good PUA skills can help you rise in the promotion stakes, help you make more money, increase your influence over so called ‘bosses’ and help you see the full colour wide screen picture when people above you at work see only a snapshot.

Having the PUA skills you want helps you take control of, and succeed in, your social life while at the same time providing the impetus for you to generate the skills that can seriously advantage you in the job market.

This is a key understanding for tremendously powerful personal improvement - motivation is so important to success, and if you can channel a very strong natural need, such as a sex drive, to develop the skills you need to be successful in that area then you are far more likely to be able to use those skills in other transferable areas e.g. jobs.

It is through developing your frame control/calibration/state control/use of sub-modalities and related skills in PUA that you are more able to use these effectively in the workplace to make the gains you want and deserve.

Therefore, understand:

1. Learning PUA skills will likely help you in your job, as well as with girls

2. Wanting to fuck girls is good because it motivates you to develop skills you can use in the workplace

3. It’s important to recognise your desires, not hide them, because they can be important allies

4. Having the skills you need with both girls and jobs, potentially, provides equality in society - one no longer needs all the traditional qualifications of success. You can hack society to some extent.

In NLP there are the concepts of ‘uptime’ and ‘downtime’. Let’s cut through the jargon and decode this - ‘uptime’ is when you are focused on the outside world, paying attention to the responses you are generating and processing all that external input. ‘Downtime’, on the other hand, is when you are inside your head running internal dialogues and analysing what happened - not good when in the field.

When one is in the field, you want an external focus because you need to react to the people around you. This can mean, noticing their current state as input for your moving them to a state closer to where you want them to be. The choices people make are mostly state dependant and, just like a kid who knows the right moment to ask their parents for a bike, you’ll find there are right moments to go for the close or to move your target to the next stage in the influence or seduction process. These moments are state dependant and your job as an influencer as to both recognise and create these states.

When one is not in field, one wants an internal focus so you can review what happened and learn from it. This can mean reviewing your mistakes or noticing what worked well. It’s important to be as honest and objective as you can about what you did well or badly. By objectively reviewing how your sarges went you can best learn from your mistakes and from your achievements. In consequence you keep going with what works and cut out what is not paying dividends.

In my own experience, I was good at learning from my mistakes but looking back, I see I could have learned as much from analysing and reviewing what was successful. If it works, keep doing it. If it doesn’t, spend some time honestly analysing why it did not work. Was it your delivery? Was it used at the wrong time? Was it simply the wrong line or technique for that situation? Recording yourself can help in this objective analysis, after the fact.

If you are not sure where you went wrong or why it worked well, what can you do?

The first step for me is to look through my previous experiences in my journal. I keep a paper and online journal to look back on what has worked for me before (to do this more often) and what has led to outcomes I don’t want (to avoid these behaviours).

In addition to this, I will post online for additional feedback, especially if I can’t understand a situation. I mostly post on mASF (www.seductionfast.com/discussion). There you will find lots of advice on what you did well and how to improve. Aim to find people with a successful reputation and experimentally implement their advice.

It’s worth mini-trialing your mistakes during the week, especially if you mostly party at weekends.

It is better to meet people all week so you are used to meeting people any time. Don’t see weekends as a special occasion (thus higher pressure at weekends). Having said that, you might find it easier to try out revisions of your technique during the week.

Let’s say your main sarging days are Friday and Saturday then you post about your experiences on Sunday, you get feedback on Monday and Tuesday. You then implement those changes to your game on Wednesday and Thursday in preparation for the coming Friday and Saturday. That is the basis for a solid learning curve.

Learn from your mistakes through reviewing them and objectively implementing changes.

Last month I bought the new, expanded edition of Timothy Ferriss’ ‘The 4 Hour Work Week’. It’s a lifestyle I’ve been aiming to create for years, using my own approach to making money and enjoying life. Ten years ago, for example, I realised I could work in England in the spring and summer then go travelling in Eastern Europe in autumn. The pounds I made in a well paying position in the UK would last for months when converted into Polish zloties or Czech crowns.

The economy is less good in England now and though I’m in a well paying job, it’s incredibly hard to save with all the bills coming in constantly. There’s council tax, motor insurance, utilities, fuel cost….the list goes on. Therefore, I’m trying to implement some of Ferriss’ ideas for adding income and becoming an owner not a wage slave.

It’s not as easy as it seems, but then again if it was easy, everyone would be doing it. Hardest, I find at the moment, is coming up with an idea (a ‘muse’) for generating income. I have a few ideas but don’t know how realistic they are and testing them is proving not as easy as it is written about by Ferriss.

I’ll keep going with it, though, and am determined to crack it. The advantages offered are too large to be ignored and the day job too restrictive and mind-numbing to be done for any length of time.

As a teenager I would hide my intent when liking a girl until, on my way to school, I ended up sarging by accident the wife-to-be of a professional English footballer. We’re talking about beginner’s luck here but I was crazy and confident enough at that time to just let her know I liked her in a direct way. My friends were amazed at my balls and I didn’t care about the outcome. I had other girls into me yet this girl was something special. My friends were amazed at my ability to just tell her, and those around us, that I ‘fancied’ her. That was the word back then in Newcastle. This was a hot babe (HB) who went on to marry a Newcastle United footballer and manager of a top English football league team.

Today at work I still use playful sexual banter (but I pay attention to who I use it around and how strong I lay it on - calibration is crucial). Likewise, in your socialising or dating with girls, don’t be afraid to use playful sexual language. You just have to calibrate when to use it and to learn to fractionate between sexual references and non-sexual references.

Say, for example, you go into a restaurant with a girl and you say it’s not a big place but you like to eat here. You latch on to the idea of size and say ‘I was always told it’s not the size but the enjoyment you get out of it, that’s until I realised the people who used to say that to me all had small feet. You know what they say about guys with small feet, don’t you? That they need small shoes…but anyway…”.

By being playfully sexual in this way you are showing the girl you have balls but also have some class. Tone it up or tone it down to fit the company you are in. What you need to think about is being a sexual being. Have balls, enjoy yourself, don’t be a wuss and calibrate.

In case you wondered, that footballer’s wife got involved with the police and their big truncheons. That put me off her for the time being. Sorry, Lorraine!