Archive for February, 2008

Inoculation

Tuesday, February 19th, 2008

Increasingly I am seeing the benefits of ‘inoculation’.

Medicinally, inoculation means you receive just enough, a tiny amount of a sickness, to prompt your body to activate its defences against the harmful experience.

Gamewise, there is much to be said for prompting your mind against limiting beliefs by preparing in advance for what harmful effects might otherwise follow.

Let’s say you usually eject from a set after a quick opening. The harmful effect there is your sabotaging of your chances by bailing out too early before anything can happen.

I’ve been there in the past and it is quite a common happening for guys who are improving their skills – they get out while they are ahead, thereby retaining their positive frame.

The problem is if you bail out you are not going to close the deal.

Inoculation is a terrific technique here.

This means telling yourself that you know you normally bail out and it is because of reason X (you want to quit while ahead) and it is not helpful despite being comfortable in the moment.

You tell yourself you need to stay in set and not bail out and you think about the feeling of wanting to bail out in set and you imagine staying in there and having the girl smile and continue interacting passed the point you would otherwise have stayed. You imagine the longer term pay off of getting into a sexual relationship with her because you actively and consciously decided to stay in set.

Then when you are out in the field and you feel that autopilot response (e.g. to eject while it is going well) you have trained your mind to consciously intercede and to force yourself by your active decision to stay in set and to pursue that reward.

We, as humans, have a marvellous gift. We have consciousness and do NOT have to follow our whims and initial reactions. If you have watched an educational video on the dangers of road rage, the next time you feel that anger swelling on the highway you can more readily step in and consciously intervene.

Much is the case with the field. Once you are aware of a sticking point, you can inoculate yourself against it by consciously deciding you will watch for it happening. By preparing your mind for it you can step in and take control of that otherwise largely unconscious response.

Lair Presentation

Monday, February 4th, 2008

I recently got back from giving a talk at the local lair. It was a fun day out and there were some good speakers. Putting faces to names is fun too, and it seems a lot of now people have joined in the last couple of years.

 Should I smile or cry when I hear people say ‘I got into sarging way back in January 2006′. :-) It makes me feel either old or experienced when I told people I first went solo in 1989 and first found NLP in 1992.

A lot of the talks were about techniques and things to do or avoid doing. My talk wasn’t about that much – it was about my experiences in the game – girls I’ve banged, gurus I’ve met. It was general. Cascade asked us to speak for an hour or so and I wondered what I could say to last that long. As it turns out, an hour was not enough and I could have gone into lots of detail which I simply didn’t have time for.

I suppose it is about what you want from a seminar. Lots of people want to learn techniques, others want motivation and a chance to see what is possible. I hope the variety of speakers covered many of these wants.

 For me, it was hard to know how much detail to go into. There seemed to be a mixed level in the audience and it was hard to judge when to keep it simple and general and when to go into advanced ideas. I would have loved to get in deep with advanced discussions because those are the most stimulating and they prompt  new thinking, but a lot of the audience seemed quite new to the whole gaming idea or were taking early steps. That’s bound to happen in a seminar for a general audience on a wide number of topics.

In future, it might be fun to deliberately talk on an advanced topic to involve those people who are ready to advance in specific areas. I’d like to listen to such topics too. Things like facial communication to convey state, inner game, linking themes and controlling the frame would be interesting for me.

I wasn’t especially well either during the weekend. I lost my voice in the car on the way to the meeting and my voice just about held up for the duration of my talk. On Sunday and Monday (today) I’m trying to shake off this cold or flu or whatever it is.