Archive for August, 2008

Police Arrest Workshop Students. Stevie Escapes.

Sunday, August 24th, 2008

I was helping out on a workshop last week in London. We divided into 2 groups and I went with 3 students and another instructor.

The students were learning direct game and were making some approaches. After half an hour they were nowhere to be seen and I went to investigate.

A policeman and a plain clothes cop had the students up against the wall and the instructor was trying to explain. Then the policeman nabbed the instructor. They were handcuffed.

I was thinking WTF? Arrested for trying to meet chicks. I escaped by blending into the crowd and turning my phone off in case they tried to track me via my phone (talk about paranoia but the arrests sure sparked it in me).

My first thought was that some chick had called the cops because the student had said something to her (been too direct without displaying any value?) The irony seemed to me that to learn to display value you had to approach and talk to chicks but it was hard to engage them well and successfully if you could not display enough value to stop and engage them. Catch 22.

It turns out the police thought the students were pickpockets (so they claimed) and they were later released. The whole experience must have added a negative frame to approach for the students. I hope they could get over the challenge because it can be hard enough to get through learning openings and chick defences without having to deal with the police too.

I heard from the other instructor and he said they finally started improving their openings later.

http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/2008/08/18/is-picking-up-chicks-against-the-law-in-the-uk/#comment-12527

The Regret Factor

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

Some people are more motivated by what they might lose rather than what they might gain. I think I am one of these in many instances. I am quite happy to lie around in bed having fun with a LTR rather than pushing myself to get out there and meet new people as often as I should.

 It’s what is termed in the community as a high quality problem i.e. one others would not mind having too much. Nevertheless, it is something which got me thinking about motivation and what gets your ass into gear. Have you thought about what motivates you?

Years ago I can remember feeling so frustrated at my lack of progress that I almost just snapped and forced myself to talk to people. The annoyance factor, and the regret of not taking opportunities, forced me to make a decision to do something, even if it meant messing it up. Messing it up was better than doing nothing. Looking back at how the psychology worked for me, I see how I often have a ‘moving away’ strategy which is more powerful than a ‘moving towards’ motivation strategy. And from what I read in Tony Robbins, this is the norm in humans.

This is probably the reason I get messages from guys who have been in a LTR and who have dropped into the comfort of communicating only with the one chick in their lives and they lose their wider skill set of being able to meet and attract new people. They rest on their laurels, they get lazy or just get comfortable. They stop making the effort and the relationship ends (either naturally or perhaps partly because the guy loses his edge and becomes a less interesting man who is a psychlogical push-over). Then the guy has to return to the world of meeting new people and has problems.

Thinking about the regret factor - the feeling of annoyance with oneself that you could and should have done something you wanted to do, I find myself looking not only to the past to times where I have had this feeling of regret but also to the future. Past regrets can empower you to take action to avoid that negative feeling of floundering regret. But looking to the future can empower you too because you can think about being 80 years old and unable to do things like travel or attract HBs. Imagine the regret you would feel at not doing all the things in life you wanted and dreamed of doing while you had the chance. That too can help force you to take action.

This is assuming you are motivated by a moving away from or a losing out strategy. This relates to Cialdini’s scarcity weapon of influence too.  Knowing what motivates you to take action is important and it’s worth reflecting on the times you have really got your ass into gear. Was it regret/fear of loss/opportunity/a combination? Use what works for you to motivate yourself deliberately.

Glitch Analysis – Over Compensation

Monday, August 4th, 2008

Insights come and go and I want to get this one down on paper (on screen!) before the insight leaves me.

Before getting into sarging seriously (solid game, so to speak), I was more ‘natural’, if less consistent in my state control. I was getting more random chicks back then but I’ve been in more fulfilling LTRs these last few years. Still, I want to be in control and recently I’ve been noticing being more reticent about opening up to me. As Morrissey once sang, ‘Has the world changed or have I changed?’. It’s hard to tell, but something came to me tonight – I am over compensating; over gaming.

When you are living the game and seeing everything through a gaming frame (even work and the power plays are examples of frame setting and alpha domination), it is easy to over do things. For example, I’ve been expecting the people I deal with to have the same outgoing personality as me and when they don’t display it, I am often considering it a display of frame control on their part.

I started some work recently and a potential target was in the first meeting. She was smiley and giving IOIs, asking about all the places I’ve worked around the world. Within a week she was quiet around me, not initiating contact and acting stilted. Why the change? I take the blame as well as the credit for my communication and its outcomes, so I thought about this recently.

2 points.

A) I think I am too confident of my own worth and ability. I, mistakenly, think people will see worth without my having to do much. I assume non-club HBs (normal chicks?) will have the same social and calibration skills as girls who are approached a lot. People who are not used to reading between the lines will not always put 2 and 2 together and have it add up to the implied worth. Some of these people are book worms. Also this relates to their self-confidence. See below.

B) I credit people with confident, social personalities and expect them to initiate conversation with me in the way I can with them. When they don’t react or don’t get my high flying literary allusions and comments (again a form of over compensation, I think), I see it as weird or as withdrawal into a shit test on their part when it probably isn’t . It is likely not a test by them, just shyness. Rather than reaching out them, I withdraw too in order not to seem needy and not to fill the vacuum. 

I need to keep going in my displaying of personality, not withdraw (and yet not over animate) so they see consistency in my communication and don’t see someone who was initially outgoing and when then became quieter and didn’t engage as much as their behaviour initially promised.

This new behaviour will be my new social experiment but I have to remind myself that I am not starting with a clean slate here, and that is sometimes needed to get clean data back.

I have to remind myself these are not super confident HBs in a club scene – just normal people who are a bit cute in a workplace. I cannot credit them with the game skills I think a HB target would have and should not over compensate my game accordingly – this just leads to them seeing me as someone who is cold and who freezes them out when they can’t think of a quick come back to my busting and outbursts of personality. It probably jars them the way I extend myself and then withdraw when they don’t hit me back with high level game.

The fact that this same chick reacted very well to my pep talk to her about ‘if you don’t believe in yourself then nobody else will’, gives credence to my idea that she is somewhat low self esteem and needs consistent engagement not withdrawal.

I’m glad I got this insight recorded while it remains fresh in my brain. I get all kinds of flashes like this, some of them really intuitive and powerful but they sometimes fade quickly like quaint dream memories in the morning.

Generation X – Lifestyle

Saturday, August 2nd, 2008

I mentioned in a previous post that I’d read Generation X by Douglas Coupland. That book was out in 1991 and reprinted a lot during the 1990s. How did I miss it? I got Trainspotting and Fight Club and Kundera and lots of other good books about life and living around that time but somehow Generation X passed me by. Perhaps I was reading ASF too much ;-)

A lot of the ideas in the book are summed up by definitions given at the bottom of the pages. Here is a list of them and some comments on how I see them from my life situations. I’ll add comments to the list when I have time over the coming days.

101-ism: (page 85)

The tendency to pick apart, often in minute detail, all aspects of life using half-understood pop psychology as a tool.

The world of sarging is full of analyses of how the PUA should think and of how the people he interacts with think. Is it half-understood? Perhaps, in the sense that we are using psychological tools for understanding and not knowing how these concepts work in a wider psychological context. But in specific sarging environments, our understanding of the PUAs thinking and that of the people he is interacting with is often far greater than a half understanding. Often we have a deep understanding of why and how people act as they do within that specific sarging context.

2 + 2 = 5-ism: (page 139)

Caving in to a target marketing strategy aimed at oneself after holding out for a long period of time. “Oh, all right, I’ll buy your stupid cola. Now just leave me alone.”

I can remember being with my Swedish LTR in the Canary Islands when she was looking to buy a camera. The shop owner was a master AMOG and influencer. He was pressuring her very smoothly to buy the most expensive camera. I knew what he was doing and I and he ended up locked in a battle of wills – all indirect influencing, not arguing – just trying to lead the frame and get covert dominance. After half an hour of this, I thought ‘forget it, I can’t be bothered to fight you any longer, let the chick fight her own battles and pay what you can get her to pay’, and I physically withdrew and left him to his prey. That guy was good and persistent. I let him have his victim. She got a nice camera, got clean out financially and later regretted having bought such an expensive camera which didn’t do everything she wanted it to do.

Air Family: (page 111)

Describes the false sense of community experienced among coworkers in an office environment.

And just like your real family, you can’t choose them! You are stuck working with a bunch of people who you might or might not get along with. At least in a real family you have some shared genes in your favour. Unlike in a real family, though, you can screw them and it’s acceptable socially.

Anti-Sabbatical: (page 35)

A job take with the sole intention of staying only for a limited period of time (often one year). The intention is usually to raise enough funds to partake in another, more personally meaningful activity such as watercolor sketching in Crete o r designing computer knit sweaters in Hong Kong. Employers are rarely informed of intention.

I know this one well. I worked for a few months for the government and with the intention of saving enough to move to Sweden, which I did. For years I also worked half a year and then lived it up in Eastern Europe on the money I’d earned. The $$$ went a lot further out east.

Anti-Victim Device (AVD): (page 114)

A small fashion accessory worn on an otherwise conservative outfit which announces to the world that one still has a spark of individuality burning inside: 1940s retro ties and earrings (on men), feminist buttons, noserings (women), and the now almost completely extinct teeny weeny “rattail” haircut (both sexes).

Used by PUAs the world over – check out that peacocky necklace, dude!

Architectural Indigestion: (page 75)

The almost obsessive need to live in a ‘cool’ architectural environment. Frequent related objects of fetish include framed black-and-white art photography (Diane Arbus is a favorite); simplistic pine furniture; matte black high-tech items such as TVs, stereos, and telephones; low-wattage ambient lighting; a lamp, chair, or table that alludes to the 1950s; cut flowers with complex name.

Have you got your babe lair ready? Get those magazines laid out on the coffee table to hold her interest when she comes round. Buy the candles for the evening rapport building phase.

Armanism: (page 82)

After Giorgio Armani: an obsession with mimicking the seamless and (more importantly) controlled ethos of Italian culture. Like Japanese Minimalism, Armanism reflects a profound inner need for control.

Impress the world with your hot rod car and your designer shades, dude. How can they not like me when I have paid so much for my threads. It amazes me how much money and effort will put into their appearance without any regard for developing their personalities.

Bambification: (page 48)

The mental conversion of flesh and blood living creatures into cartoon creatures possessing bourgeois Judeo-Christian attitudes and morals.

And, perhaps seeing other people as unreal, something other, objects to be played with, not engaged with, emotional and sexual playthings … or characters from a Star Trek holodeck.

Black Dens: (page 135)

Where Black Holes live; often unheated warehouses with Day-Glo spray paint, mutilated mannequins, Elvis references, dozens of overflowing ashtrays, broken mirror sculptures, and Velvet Underground music playing in background.

Sounds Gothic and not the kind of place you’d take a chick home to, unless she was herself a goth. I’ve seen some clubs that look like this though, there are one in Stockholm on Folkungagatan.

Black Holes: (page 135)

An X generation subgroup best known for their possession of almost entirely black wardrobes.

Gothic sounding. They hang around Old Eldon Square in Newcastle on weekends (‘the hippy green’). Nearby shop, Kathmandu, sells some good peacocky clothes and accessories, including PVC bondage clothing.

Bleeding Ponytail: (page 21)

An elderly sold-out baby boomer who pines for hippie or pre-sellout days.

I know a few of these types. I applaud their attempt at retro coolness if only for the fact that my dad is, and has always been, decidedly uncool. But even his unintentional self-distancing from coolness (his 1960s suits came back into fashion 25 years later) is seen as cool every quarter of a century. Even a broken clock tells the right time once every 24 hours. But who decides the ‘right’ time?

Boomer Envy: (page 21)

Envy of material wealth and long-range material security accrued by older members of the baby boom generation by virtue of fortunate births.

Yes, I do see this one, though in my case it don’t feel envy. That’s not the right word. Envy is only present when you think you deserve or are entitled to something. You want what you can’t have. For me, I never even thought I would have a job for life like my parents had. I was born in the 1970s after the oil crisis when real wages stopped growing. I was a child and teenager in the 1980s under Thatcher. I never really believed life could be any different. Like today’s kids who were born after the birth of the internet. They can’t imagine what it was like when the net didn’t exist. Or so I am told. It’s one thing to have an academic understanding of what life was like and how people think. It’s quite another to really know and experience something yourself. Now sleep…… with me… that’s really important.

Bradyism: (page 134)

A multisibling sensibility derived from having grown up in large families. A rarity in those born after approximately 1965, symptoms of Bradyism include a facility for mind games, emotional withdrawal in situations of overcrowding, and a deeply felt need for well-defined personal space.

I certainly grew up in a post-60s world, yet do feel the need for some of these sensibilities. The mind games aspect is particularly interesting because my father used to use passive-aggressive techniques to emotionally punish and blackmail her for going out and enjoying herself. I caught myself using them but consciously intervened and decided they were not a pleasant or productive way to manage a relationship.

Brazilification: (page 11)

The widening gulf between the rich and the poor and the accompanying disappearance of the middle classes.

The gap between the rich and poor is greater in 2008 than it was in 1997 in Britain. Certainly where I live in the north of England there is not a whole lot of middle class living going on. What does that mean these days, anyway? In a way I like getting out into the real world and slumming it in ‘take you life in your hands’ pubs. You meet real people with real passions in those places. The prices are cheaper too!

Bread and Circuits: (page 80)

The electronic era tendency to view party politics as corny — no longer relevant or meaningful or useful to modern societal issues, and in many cases dangerous.

It’s not hard to see why many people are disengaged from politics these days. I’m not but I do wonder what difference it has made in my life. More foreigners in my city, I suppose. But is that globalisation or policy? Both?

Café Minimalism: (page 107)

To espouse a philosophy of minimalism without actually putting into practice any of its tenets.

Fakers! All talk. Use the latest buzz words. Fit in to seem cool but be ready to ditch the current coolness for a new one round the corner. If you know your own values well, this is avoidable.

Celebrity Schadenfreude: (page 70)

Lurid thrills derived from talking about celebrity deaths.

Can be useful in chick crack subjects to engage more shallow people. Can you move her beyond this shit if you want to engage on a deeper level or does this define her? If so – next? Your decision. I always operated from the position of medicore minds talk about people; average minds talk about events; superior minds talk about ideas.

Chryptotechnophobia: (page 172)

The secret belief that technology is more of a menace than a boon.

There is something in this when technology ceases serving us and starts controlling how we act. From time to time I have to remind myself that if my computer doesn’t work, it’s not the end of the world. More important is one’s health. Make technology serve you, don’t let it make your life more difficult.

Clique Management: (page 21)

The need of one generation to see the generation following it as deficient so as to bolster its own collective ego: “Kids today do nothing. They’re so apathetic. We used to go out and protest. All they do is shop and complain.”

I used to hear this from my grandfather; ‘when I was a boy….’. Was it really so different back then? I can’t believe human nature was any different at a basic level. The human mind doesn’t change that fast. What can and does change is the moral zeitgeist of what is normal, acceptable socially etc. Does the older generation always think the know more? Often they do, because they have the experience in some cases. But there are plenty of older thickos too. I tend to consider with respect initially, then weigh up an option or idea on its merits and try to keep it independent of the person. I try to avoid ad hominem attacks too. Attack the idea, not the person as much as possible. That’s the theory I try to hold to as much as possible.

Consensus Terrorism: (page 21)

The process that decides in-office attitudes and behavior.

Conspicuous Minimalism: (page 107)

A life-style tactic similar to Status Substitution. The nonownership of goods flaunted as a token of moral and intellectual superiority.

Conversational slumming: (page 113)

The self conscious enjoyment of a given conversation precisely for its lack of intellectual rigor. A major spin-off activity of Recreational Slumming.

One of my wingmen, The Mixed Blessing, was chosen largely for this quality. Often, after a hard day of work or study, the last thing I wanted was intellectually demanding conversation. Sometimes I want to shoot the shit and talk about nothing. Lo, and behold – The Mixed Blessing. All the inane and brainless conversation you could ever want in one simpleton wingman.

Cult of Aloneness: (page 69)

The need for autonomy at all costs, usually at the expense of long-term relationships. Often brought about by overly high expectations of others.

I do like my space but I crave social connection too. It leads to all kinds of problems. Irvine Welsh said it well ‘Can’t get a lass, no chance of a ride. Get a lass and it’s too much hassle, she’ll do yer head in!’. That’s a paraphrase from Trainspotting. Is one bound to be disappointed a lot if you have high standards for other people to meet? Probably, unless you set out to expect inanity and are pleasantly surprised when someone breaks the mould cerebrally with you. Plus if you set high expectations, people are more inclined to meet them whereas if you accept all manner of nut cases and bores into your life, they tend to drag you down and you devalue yourself. Some of my closer friends are nuts but bright. You have to get a balance, I suppose.

Decade Blending: (page 15)

In clothing: the indiscriminate combination of two or more items from various decades to create a personal mood: Sheila = Mary Quant earrings (1960s) + cork wedgie platform shoes (1970s) + black leather jacket (1950s and 1980s).

I’m not into such a prcise art as the decade blending of clothing, but I am willing to push the boundaries of what is ‘normal’, in the aim of wearing something I think is cool, as opposed to something society tells the masses is cool.

Derision Preemption: (page 150)

A life-style tactic; the refusal to go out on any sort of emotional limb so as to avoid mockery from peers. Derision Preemption is the main goal of Knee-Jerk Irony.

Avoid this one, generally speaking. It’s a case of society operating to streamline your individuality and give you permission to act in the way IT wants, not how YOU want or feel. It can lead to self-frustration and emotional explosions at a later time. All that bottled up emotion has to come out somewhere. Better to use it contructively than to have it emerge in a way beyond your control.

Diseases for Kisses (Hyperkarma): (page 48)

A deeply rooted belief that punishment will somehow always be far greater than the crime: ozone holes for littering.

Divorce Assumption: (page 34)

A form of Safety Net-ism, the belief that if marriage doesn’t work out, then there is no problem because partners can simply seek a divorce.

Dorian Graying: (page 164)

The unwillingness to gracefully allow one’s body to show the signs of aging.

Down-Nesting: (page 144)

The tendency of parent to move to smaller, guest-room-free houses after their children have moved away so as to avoid children aged 20 to 30 who have boomeranged home.

Dumpster Clocking: (page 162)

The tendency when looking at objects to guesstimate the amount of time they will take to eventually decompose: “Ski boots are the worst. Solid plastic. They’ll be around till the sun goes supernova.”

Earth Tones: (page 26)

A youthful subgroup interested in vegetarianism, tie-dyed outfits, mild recreational drugs, and good stereo equipment. Earnest, frequently lacking in humor.

Emallgration: (page 173)

Migration toward lower-tech, lower-information environments containing lessened emphasis on consumerism.

Emotional Ketchup Burst: (page 21)

The Bottling up opinions and emotions inside oneself so that they explosively burst forth all at once, shocking and confusing employers and friends — most of whom thought things were fine.

The Emperor’s New Mall: (page 71)

The popular notion that shopping malls exist on the insides only and have no exterior. The suspension of visual belief engendered by this notion allows shoppers to pretend that the large, cement blocks thrust into their environment do not, in fact, exist.

Ethnomagnetism: (page 26)

The tendency of young people to live in emotionally demonstrative, more unrestrained ethnic neighborhoods: “You wouldn’t understand it there, mother — they hug where I live now.”

Expatriate Solipsism: (page 172)

When arriving in a foreign travel destination one had hoped was undiscovered, only to find many people just like oneself; the peeved refusal to talk to said people because they had ruined one’s elitist travel fantasy.

Fame-Induced Apathy: (page 150)

The attitude that no activity is worth pursuing unless one can become very famous pursuing it. Fame-Induced Apathy mimics laziness, but its roots are much deeper.

This reminds me of one of my favourite songs, ‘Waking Up’, by Elastica. Justine Frischmann sings ‘If I can’t be a star, I won’t get out of bed’. I feel like that too a lot of the time. Much of life seems quite pointless and routine. I am convinced (maybe I’m just self-delusional) that I’m destined for more than walking round the local supermarket buying broccoli and super-calibrating the unconscious responses of the security guard who is clearly wondering why I have not taken a basket or a trolley.

Green Division: (page 150)

To know the difference between envy and jealousy.

Historical Overdosing: (page 8)

To live in a period of time when too much seems to happen. Major symptoms include addiction to newspapers, magazines and TV news broadcasts.

Historical Slumming: (page 11)

The act of visiting locations such as diners, smokestack industrial sites, rural villages — locations where time has been frozen many years back — so as to experience relief when one returns back to “the present.”

Historical Underdosing: (page 7)

To live in a period of time when nothing seems to happen. Major symptoms include addiction to newspapers, magazines and TV news broadcasts.

Homeowner Envy: (page 144)

Feelings of jealousy generated by the young and the disenfranchised when faced with gruesome housing statistics.

Jack-and-Jill Party: (page 143)

A Squire tradition; baby showers to which both men and women friends are invited as opposed to only women. Doubled purchasing power of bisexual attendance brings gift values up to Eisenhower-era standards.

Japanese Minimalism: (page 75)

The most frequently offered interior design aesthetic used by rootless career-hopping young people.

Knee-Jerk Irony: (page 150)

The tendency to make flippant ironic comments as a reflexive matter of course in everyday conversation.

Legislated Nostalgia: (page 41)

To force a body of people to have memories that do not actually possess: “How can I be a part of the 1960s generation when I don’t even remember any of it?”

Lessness: (page 54)

A philosophy whereby one reconciles oneself with diminishing expectations of material wealth: “I’ve given up wanting to make a killing or be a bigshot. I just want to find happiness and maybe open up a little roadside cafe in Idaho.”

McJob: (page 5)

A low-pay, low-prestige, low-dignity, low-benefit, no-future job in the service sector. Frequently considered a satisfying career choice by people who have never held one.

Me-ism: (page 126)

A search by an individual, in the absence of training or traditional religious tenets, to formulate a personally tailored religion by himself. Most frequently a mishmash of reincarnation, personal dialogue with a nebulously defined god figure, naturalism, and karmic eye-for-eye attitudes.

Mental Ground Zero: (page 63)

The location where one visualizes oneself during the dropping of the atomic bomb; frequently, a shopping mall.

Metaphasia: (page 164)

An inability to perceive metaphor.

Mid-Twenties Breakdown: (page 27)

A period of mental collapse occurring in one’s twenties, often caused by an inability to function outside of school or structured environments coupled with a realization of one’s aloneness in the world. Often marks the induction into the ritual of pharmaceutical usage.

Musical Hairsplitting: (page 85)

The act of classifying music and musicians into pathologically picayune categories: “The Vienna Franks are a good example of urban white acid folk revivalism crossed with ska.”

Native Aping: (page 172)

Pretending to be a native when visiting a foreign destination.

Now Denial: (page 41)

To tell oneself that the only time worth living in is the past and that the only time that may ever be interesting again is the future.

I slip into this one when I lose my state sometimes. I tend to romanticise the past and think of my next exotic trip as the things to keep me going. Of course, you past creates your present and your present creates you future, to a large degree. Keep them all in perspective and if the past is not helpful, move past it. It’s over. But the past can be a resource too – when you look back and objectively list your achievements which might be greater than you realise.

Nutritional Slumming: (page 120)

Food whose enjoyment stems not from flavor but from a complex mixture of class connotations, nostalgia signals, and packaging semiotics: “Katie and I bought this tub of Multi-Whip instead of real whip cream because thought petroleum d istillate whip topping seemed like the sort of food that air force wives stationed in Pensacola back in the early sixties would feed their husband to celebrate a career promotion.”

Obscurism: (page 165)

The practice of peppering daily life with obscure references (forgotten films, dead TV stars, unpopular book, defunct countries, etc.) as a subliminal means of showcasing one’s education and one’s wish to disassociate from the world of mass culture.

Occupational Slumming: (page 113)

Taking a job beneath one’s skills or education level as a means of retreat from adult responsibilities and/or avoiding possible failure in one’s true occupation.

O’Propriation: (page 107)

The inclusion of advertising, packaging, and entertainment jargon from earlier eras in everyday speech for ironic and/or comic effect: “Kathleen’s Favorite dead Celebrity party was tons o’ fun” or “Dave really think s of himself as a zany, nutty, wacky, and madcap guy, doesn’t he?”

Option Paralysis: (page 139)

The tendency, when given unlimited choices, to make none.

Overboarding: (page 26)

Overcompensating for fears about the future by plunging headlong into a job or life-style seemingly unrelated to one’s previous interests; i.e., Amway sales, aerobics, the Republican Party, a career in law, cults, McJobs….

Ozmosis: (page 25)

The inability of one’s job to live up to one’s self-image.

Paper Rabies: (page 127)

Hypersensitivity to littering.

Personal Tabu: (page 74)

A small rule for living, bordering on superstition, that allows one to cope with everyday life in the absence of cultural or religious dictums.

Personality Tithe: (page 143)

A price paid for becoming a couple; previously amusing human beings become boring: “Thanks for inviting us, but Noreen and I are going to look at flatware catalogs tonight. Afterward we’re going to watch the travel channel.”

Platonic Shadow: (page 62)

A nonsexual friendship with a member of the opposite sex.

Poor Buoyancy: (page 82)
The realization that one was a better person when one had less money.

Poorochondria: (page 74)

Hypochondria derived from not having medical insurance.

Poverty Jet Set: (page 6)

A group of people given to chronic traveling at the expense of long-term job stability or a permanent residence. Tend to have doomed and extremely expensive phone call relationships with people names Serge or Ilyana. Tend to discuss frequent-flyer programs at parties.

Poverty Lurks: (137)

Financial paranoia instilled in offspring by depression-era parents.

Power Mist: (page 25)

The tendency of hierarchies in office environments to be diffuse and preclude crisp articulation.

Pull-the-Plug, Slice the Pie: (page 137)

A fantasy in which an offspring mentally tallies up the net worth of his parents.

QFD: (page 120)

Quelle fucking drag. “Jamie got stuck in the Rome airport for thirty-six hours and it was, like, QFD.”

QFM: (page 120)

Quelle fashion mistake. “It was really QFM. I mean, painter pants? That’s 1979 beyond belief.”

Rebellion Postponement: (page 106)

The tendency in one’s youth to avoid traditionally youthful activities and artistic experiences in order to obtain serious career goals. Sometimes results in the mourning for lost youth at about age thirty, followed by silly haircuts and joke- inducing wardrobes.

Recreational Slumming: (page 113)

The practice of participating in recreational activities of a class one perceives as lower than one’s own: “Karen! Donald! Let’s go bowling tonight! An don’t worry about shoes… apparently you can rent them.”

Recurving: (page 24)

Leaving one job to take another that pays less but places one back on the learning curve.

Safety Net-ism: (page 34)

The belief that there will always be a financial and emotional safety net to buffer life’s hurts. Usually parents.

Sick Building Migration: (page 24)

The tendency of younger workers to leave or avoid jobs in unhealthy office environments or workplaces affected by Sick Building Syndrome.

Spectacularism: (page 50)

A fascination with extreme situations.

Squires: (page 135)

The most common X generation subgroup and the only subgroup given to breeding. Squires exist almost exclusively in couples and are recognizable by their frantic attempts to recreate a semblance of Eisenhower-era plenitude and their daily lives in the face of exorbitant housing prices and two-job life-styles. Squires tend to be continually exhausted from voraciously acquisitive pursuit of furniture and knickknacks.

Squirming: (page 112)

Discomfort inflicted upon young people by old people who see no irony in their gestures. Karen died a thousand deaths as her father made a big show of tasting a recently manufactured bottle of wine before allowing it to be poured as the family sat in Steak Hut.

Status Substitution: (page 54)

Using an object with intellectual or fashionable cachet to substitute for an object that is merely pricey: “Brian, you left your copy of Camus in your brother’s BMW.”

Strangelove Reproduction: (page 135)

Having children to make up for the fact that one no longer believes in the future.

Successophobia: (page 30)

The fear that if one is successful, then one’s personal needs will be forgotten and one will no longer have one’s childish needs catered to.

Survivulousness: (page 62)

The tendency to visualize oneself enjoying being the last person on earth. “I’d take a helicopter up and throw microwave ovens down on the Taco Bell.”

Tele-Parablizing: (page 120)

Morals used in everyday life that derive from TV sitcom plots: “That’s just like the episode where Jan lost her glasses.”

Terminal Wanderlust: (page 171)

A condition common to people of transient middle-class upbringings. Unable to feel rooted in any one environment, the move continually in hopes of finding an idealized sense of community in the next location.

Ultra Short Term Nostalgia: (page 96)

Homesickness for the extremely recent past: “God, things seemed so much better in the world last week.”

Underdogging: (page 137)

The tendency to almost invariably side with the underdog in a given situation. The consumer expression of the this trait is the purchasing of less successful, “sad,” or failing products: “I know these Vienna franks are heart failure in a stick, but they were so sad looking up against all the other yuppie food items that I just had to buy them.”

Vaccinated Time Travel: (page 11)

To fantasize about traveling backward in time, but only with proper vaccinations.

Veal-Fattening Pen: (page 20)

Small, cramped office workstations built of fabric-covered disassemblable wall partitions and inhabited by junior staff members. Named for the pre-slaughter cubicles used by the cattle industry.

Virgin Runway: (page 172)

A travel destination chosen in the hopes that no one else has ever chosen it.

Voter’s Block: (page 80)

The attempt, however futile, to register dissent with the current political system by simply not voting.

Yuppie Wannabe’s: (page 91)

An X generation subgroup that believes the myth of a yuppie life-style being both satisfying and viable. Tend to be high in debt, involved in some form of substance abuse, and show a willingness to talk about Armageddon after three drinks.