Call them what you will, Same Night Lays (SNL) or One Night Stands (ONS), for the PUA both amount to meeting a girl and taking her to bed the same night. Actually, there can be a difference in that a ONS implies you have burned your bridges and don’t see her again. It’s just a one off. In a SNL you might see her again or might not. There is a subtle difference there which can affect one’s approach to setting up and interacting with your target.

I’m the selector and I let high value people into my life. How do I know they have value? I screen them for the qualities I am looking for. There are different kinds of value and someone might have sexual value but is she the kind of person you would take to your family garden party? In such a case, she is more likely to be a ONS lay. On the other hand, if I find after the lay that she is the kind of person I’d like to see again, she is not needy and can be turned into a fuck buddy, I might keep her onboard. Both scenarios are SNLs but the scenario where I cut her off because she has sexual value but not social value is a case where a SNL evolves into a ONS because I didn’t want to see her again. Selecting the right person through meeting and screening for the type of qualities you want (e.g. adventurous, experimental) is key.

Of course, I could do the groundwork before laying her and screen her for positive traits beyond the sexual at that stage. And I do this to a large extent outside of the loud club environments where there is a chance to talk and exchange ideas. But many of my SNL successes have come from loud clubs where chicks have their buying temperature pumped up and they are in a very loud environment where a lot of the value judgements made about people are done on the visual level. You check out how a person looks, see their non-verbal communication, you might listen to some banter to set a frame (nothing too deep because it is so freaking noisy usually), you might get into a social proof circle and start to like the person. But that kind of loud environment does not easily allow you to screen for hidden depths. And let’s face it, most people don’t want to get into a deep conversation in that kind of fun environment. Especially for girls, those kinds of environments are full of shiny social objects where they get validation from lots of people based on their physical value. That’s why they go out to dance in a fitness-judging location when they could just as easily dance in their own living room.

You can bridge from the club to a nearby diner to talk more in depth but few of my SNLs have come from that operation. This is partly by design. If I extract from a club, I am taking time out from meeting new people and in terms of efficiency it is not good use of my time. By that I mean I could spend an hour with a girl in a diner going for the bridge back to my place yet I might not get it. In that hour I could have met 4 new girls and got the immediate bridge back to the lay location from one of them if she is sexually adventurous – and I’m screening for that. So deciding whether to isolate for me is mainly about how much you like the chick and you consider she might have the qualities you are looking for (and I don’t just mean physical here – could you consider seeing her again or do you just want your sexual release with her?).

Most of my SNLs, though, have been ONSs where I stayed in the club and plowed through quite a high number of sets and had her hooked and intrigued in a big way. When you get that lock on from your target (and this means being aware of IOIs and knowing how to amp them up to the point where she sees you as an amazing sexual opportunity not to be missed and available for only a limited time – see Cialdini’s ‘scarcity’ weapon of influence) you can then social proof yourself and set jealousy traps because other females see that this chick is really into you. If you are isolated alone with a chick, that whole social proof dynamic is lost because you are out of the club location. I think of it as a shotgun versus a sniper effect. The sniper effect is putting all your attention onto one target in the diner who you have isolated. The shotgun effect is staying in the club and having the targets see how successful you are with other targets like herself. It goes well with short set theory.

I remember Style once pointing out to me that most of my lays involved large elements of social proof and he was right. Once I’d identified that element being omnipresent in my successes, I made sure to tailor my game to include that aspect of gaming all the more. Play to one’s strengths. This surprised me slightly at the time because I thought my one on one social skills in isolation game were my perhaps biggest strength. But social proof in clubs seemed even more important.

As a result of not knowing if I’ll see her again until after I have laid her, I am careful about my security. Some chicks change after the lay e.g. getting very clingy and needy in wanting to see you again. That’s not cool and you can’t always see it coming until it happens. Also some chicks are weird during the lay, wanting freaky things or get weird in post-coital discussion and they start making long term plans with you. Therefore I am careful in not giving her too much information about who I am, where I live, where I work etc. I’ve been known to take her home by circuitous routes so she cannot find my house again the next day, giving first name only or middle names which morph into surnames. Some chicks have had boyfriends who came looking for me after I decided not to see her again and I’ve had to change my cell phone number because of a needy stalker. Having said that, most chicks have been cool and we’ve both got what we wanted.

In summary, most of my SNLs come from club environments where people are up for having fun and the lay is a continuation of the fun she is having. It is the peak escalation of the fun, actually. Even the SNLs I have had from non-club environments came from the chick being in an altered state of enjoyment e.g. being on vacation where she is ‘allowed’ to be wild and have fun. For me, it’s tapping into and amping up that mentality of permission and adventure that then extends to the sexual arena. When you play it right, the lay blends into, and follows on from, the fun she is already enjoying.