Archive for June, 2009

Synchronized Bathroom Visits

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

You are in a club and two girls walk by arm in arm to the bathroom. Are they synchronized in urinary need? Do they both, fortuitously, just happen to need to pee at the same time? Or is there something else going on here? Some weird chick thing?

The answer is illuminating and at the same time reassuring to us as players because when you understand a phenomenon it empowers you to being in a position to utilize that knowledge. With this in mind, let’s look at this female behaviour and why understanding it can empower us as PUAs. And, by the way, what IS it with the linked arm shit they do? Read on…

Right now I live in England. I’ve lived in Spain, Hong Kong, Thailand, Sweden and Germany. These are, by most standards, safe places to go out at night. The risk of physical danger while walking to the bathroom in a club is negligible. Despite first impressions, females are not going to the bathroom to piss together in unison – this is not synchronized urination. How do we know this? We need only look at the behaviour of men in clubs and see they don’t travel en mass together to piss, even if they all started drinking at the same time. No, something else is going on.

The reason is sexual selection. It’s the nature of the club environment, the sexual vibe therein and the fact that in such a location chicks are more vulnerable to their non-rational urges. This leaves them not in physical danger so much, as in danger of being gamed and potentially fucked by an accomplished PUA without any vetting or secondary defense mechanism being present in the form of a cockblock.

Without the cockblock to help regulate the buying temperature of the target, the target is liable to be untowardly vulnerable to being opened and seduced by a man she barely knows. The antithesis to this, yet still operating directly in the sphere of sexual selection, is the potential experience of a low value AFC or a bore cornering the girl when she is alone and she not having the social nuance to escape. It’s that or she lacks the state control to recover from the ‘trauma’ of deflecting the low value male. For that defense mechanism to be employed effectively, sisterly support is needed.

Hence the need for chicks, especially HBs in highly charged sexual environments, such as clubs, to go to the bathroom in pairs or more. They link arms as an outward visual indication that they are not alone. It makes them feel more secure against being opened by low value guys or by players who are likely to use hit and run sexual tactics. The result of walking together, sometimes arm in arm, is it helps deter those AFCs who are fine about approaching solo girls but who fear approaching chicks in sets.

Putting off guys from approaching might be an unconscious defense mechanism in the sexual selection stakes; it is also a superb qualifying technique. Men who are not put off, and who approach girls who are clearly part of a set, are men with balls and confidence. Those men are more attractive to the chicks when the approaches are successful.

This brings us to the question of how using our understanding of these social dynamics can empower us as players.

Understanding this dynamic tells us that chicks, while in a pumped up sexual state are vulnerable to being sarged and rapidly fucked if you have good game. I know because I’ve done it many times. Same night lays is a subject I’ve written and been interviewed about a lot recently. See my recent contributions to CharmingRogue.com.

Seeing chicks go to the bathroom together in a club should remind you of your power as a worthy man. She needs to go to the bathroom with her girlfriend because of your potential power. She is unconsciously admitting that you have tremendous sexual potential. Therefore, because of your male sexual potential, she has to employ additional defense mechanisms because she cannot trust herself not to be seduced if you engage her non-rational brain and appeal to her sexual side with good game.

What does this mean in terms of game technique?

It means being aware of, and utilizing, the power of buying temperature in a chick. In a pumped up sexual environment she is part way to being closed simply because of the nature of that environment.

In a non-club venue you are likely to have to pump her state from a level of normality whereas in a club you already have a higher base line to work from because you are in an acknowledged sexual selection arena with all the ‘shiny objects’ already present to engage her emotions – the music, lights, hot people etc.

Using these insights means understanding that if you can approach girls in pairs or larger groups and engage them effectively, you are already way ahead of the crowd who have been put off (screened out) by the use of this defense mechanism.

Also, understand that it is hugely useful to work with the head start you already have in pumping state. You need to add to the trend she is already experiencing by using a cocky frame to amp up her sexual state. Don’t go for rapport too early, especially earlier in the night when girls are often seeking attention and will want their girlfriends to see them having fun and getting attention before settling for one guy to go home with later in the night.

Don’t be put off by girls walking around together for security. Engage the target and the cockblock both. Know they need to stick together because there are guys like you out there with large amounts of sexual potential.

Podcast – State Matching

Sunday, June 14th, 2009

A new podcast by SteviePUA focusing on state matching for persuasion.

http://www.steviepua.com/podcasts/StateMatching.mp3

In the podcast, I discuss:

1. The Importance of State Matching

2. Sarging a Wedding Party – field experience & diagnosing the problem

3. Reflections and Improvement

4. Summary of Learnings

http://www.steviepua.com/podcasts/StateMatching.mp3

Podcast – Making An Impression

Friday, June 5th, 2009

A new podcast from SteviePUA - ‘Making An Impression’ on your target.

In less than a minute tonight, I attracted a new chick. In this podcast I describe what happened and how I made a powerful impression on the girl:

http://www.steviepua.com/podcasts/Making_An_Impression.mp3

The podcast describes the use of 5 techniques to create intrigue, attraction and connection.

1. Context

2. Social Proof

3. Cold Reading

4. Authority

5. Connection

These techniques are useful in many in-field situations.

Showing Interest

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

Recently, I was thinking about how to show interest in a girl.

There are different schools of thought on this, each with its advantages and nuances.

1. First there is being very direct – telling her you think she is attractive and you’d like to get to know her.

Badboy and Shark teach this method. This can be a powerful approach if you are congruent with it and can back it up with the solid inner game required. The disadvantage is it can be difficult for newbies to be successful with this approach without some expert coaching – they often seep incongruence and get shot down at the first instance of shit tests. You can certainly get better at using the direct approach with accumulated field experience. If you can pull it off with genuine solid game behind you, it’s powerful. The problem is it requires a girl to make an instant decision about you based on your congruence, body language, facial expression, tonality etc and these are very hard to fake. Certainly in the short to medium term, if you seep incongruence due to not having decent game to back you up, you can get shot down fast. I have and do use the direct approach from time to time, with some variations, and intersperse it into my own game mixed with other techniques.

More on my own techniques to follow.

2. Slightly less direct but still in the direct camp (let’s think of it as semi-direct) are statements of intent using cockiness and busting on the girl.  

Fake disinterest can also feature with this approach to showing interest, for example ‘you know we’re going to have a such a great time when we go out but I just don’t know when I could fit you in with all the hot chicks I’m seeing, I’m in terrifically high demand at the moment you know, it must be my new aftershave’. You say it with humour and are showing she is on your radar but you have a sense of humour and are non-needy and in demand. Even though she knows you are kidding around, she subconsciously is signaled that you are interested and a playboy. Because you say it with some humour, she is able to accept it as an indication of interest but not be put off by it. She laughs it off while laughing it in. There is also some push-pull in there which helps you leverage.

3. Indirectly showing interest can range from just fluff talking and staying in her orbit while trying to connect, to attracting her social circle to see your value and have your target feel left out (Mystery developed this one) to using SS patterns and using sexual state projection ambiguously e.g. she can’t tell if the sexual vibe she is picking up from you is coming from you deliberately or whether it is being spontaneously generated within herself because she is feeling attracted to something about you (something I developed).

What do I use? I use elements of all three (and this is not an exhaustive list, just an overview) with the emphasis on semi-direct and indirect ‘topped up’ by some trademark techniques of my own:

Stevie’s Techniques For Showing Interest

I sometimes tell stories about other girls I’ve had relationships with and have common threads running through the stories, i.e.

* the girl has always had a blast being with me

* it was of a short nature e.g. on holiday but it was still fulfilling. Or perhaps it was on a short term work assignment and we accepted it would be short-lived and because of that, we got more out of it. It’s like life in many ways – our time here might be limited so we have to make the most of the opportunities we have because we never know when we might lose the chance of a lifetime (there’s an element of Cialdini’s scarcity weapon of influence operating there).

* tell stories of how girls liked you being a playboy and were pleased and respected you for being honest about your playboy lifestyle (a lot of these are done in quotes like ‘and she found it really refreshing that someone could be so honest about what they want – she knew she could trust me to be honest and not hide things – if I was honest about things like that, she know she could trust me with all the other things which matter even less than opening up and seizing the moment .. too many people don’t go for the things they want’.

* run stories to show you screened out girls who were interested in you because they didn’t meet your needs i.e. they were boring people and couldn’t think for themselves and couldn’t accept this is the 21st century where people don’t have to be brainwashed into old fashioned morality or conventions. This is the time to be an individual…

So, a lot of my personal techniques are giving her a model of how people reacted to you in the past and social proofing yourself by showing that living by your rules results in a positive pay off for that person (and by association indirectly she too will get the reward you outlined if she gets with your program). That is the psychological carrot. There is also a psychological stick. This is present through my inclusion of a negative, punishment side to my stories – these are linked to the screening element of the stories where people who don’t get with my program are punished or miss out on a great time.