Archive for August, 2009

Speed Seduction Seminar

Monday, August 24th, 2009

I just back from the Speed Seduction London seminar. It was my second seminar with Ross in person though I have been studying Speed Seduction since 1997. I bought the Basic Home Study Course in 2000 and really worked hard with it. I got good at patterning by practising out loud and trying out the techniques as I was learning. Don’t feel you have to master everything before you try it!

There is more to Speed Seduction than patterns, of course, and a lot of the inner game material helped straighten my inner thoughts back then. My inner game is pretty good now, largely due to the beliefs I developed from Ross.

The seminar ran from Friday to Sunday and I learned a lot.

 The first day focused on theory and some of the beliefs that empower Speed Seduction. It included some examples with female demonstration subjects (hejsan to Charlotte from Sweden).  The second day was a mixture of theory, word for word language patterns and walk ups. There was also some change work with some students to help them with their sticking points. The third day (my favourite) was on walk ups and how to build on them. It also had a fantastic demonstration of synesthesia trance with a Swedish HB, as well as 2 guest speakers and more trance work.

There were a lot of cool guys at the event – hello to all of you who I met (and there was one annoying student who wanted to argue for the sake of it, it seemed to me – c’est la vie, mon ami?) – keep in touch.

On Saturday we went out to a bar, ate and talked to some girls. I was on reasonably good form and talked to about 6 sets in a couple of hours. There was a karate Grace Jones chick, a 2 set with an Asian girl and her friend who, I was informed, did not have a boyfriend. Then there were the bar chicks, one of whom had her name apparently tattooed to the back of her neck in case she got lost or forgot it. My two favourites were a time-travelling chick (don’t ask!) and the cute petite Lauren who thought I was bi-textual. I must check my email for the identity I gave her and see if she has been in touch.

I liked the Two Brother’s pattern, which Ross covered on the final day and will begin learning it now that I have some free time.

I’m flying to Switzerland on Tuesday then will Inter Rail round that country and into Austria and Germany. Maybe France will get a look in if it behaves itself :-)

Cheers,

Stevie

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Holiday Time

Wednesday, August 19th, 2009

I thought I was indecisive but I’m not sure now.

After much thought and planning, I booked a holiday. I’m going to Switzerland, Austria and Germany.

First, I’ll fly into Switzerland and from there take a train to the other two countries. I bought a rail pass so I can go where I want when I want. The plan is to see Geneva, Zurich, Vienna, Salzburg, Munich, Cologne and Hamburg. I fly out of northern Germany in early September.

There is so much to see and only 10 days to see it all. Plus there are lots of smaller towns and cities which appeal – Freiburg, Heidelburg, Linz. Where does one start? Is there anyone in the community in these places? I know Natural Mike in Hamburg, he’s an old pal of mine who I can stay with for a couple of days. I always learn something from him.

And yesterday, I got off the phone from Ross Jeffries. I’ll be attending his Speed Seduction seminar in London from Friday to Sunday. I’m looking forward to seeing him again, it’s been a few years now and I also learn a lot from his teaching.

So, let the holidays begin.

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Opening Targets: Speaker-Centred Openers

Monday, August 17th, 2009

Approaching and opening a target is the beginning of an interaction and can often be a make or break situation. Depending on how you come across, you are able to continue the interaction and build attraction or it goes nowhere because she puts up a shield and does not invest in the interaction. My successful field experiences over the years and recent reading of psychological research agree on a technique to boost compliance. In the following I’ll share it with you.

Autopilot responses are programmed into us as reactions to social situations. Someone extends their hand and you shake it, for example. These responses are psychological rules of thumb that we rely on in our daily lives about how to react when something happens to us. Many people have busy lives, and so, snap decisions are made. Usually these behaviours help us but they can also limit our options and can even be exploited by others who know how they work.

Additionally people can feel locked into a response they’ve made on autopilot because society tends to disapprove of inconsistency, for example labelling such people as flip-flops.

Have you ever given a quick initial response then felt you had to stick with it even though part of you was saying your initial response was not the correct one? That is the consistency principle at work.

Unfortunately, when meeting new people we can sometimes trigger a response that is not the one we want and our target feels stuck with her initial response even though she might otherwise have quickly come to see your positive traits if she’d given you time before reacting and not gone with her initial autopilot response.

So how do we avoid triggering a negative response in order to get a foot in the door and build attraction out of that initial opener?

There are many non-verbal ways of helping one to get a favourable initial response – these include having good eye contact, smiling and using non-confrontational body language. One well-known verbal technique is the fake time constraint. Another verbal technique, which I will describe here, is less widely discussed and one I have used for many years.

First let’s make a distinction between speaker-centred and target-centred openers.

A speaker-centred opener is one where you talk about yourself first.

A target-centred opener is one where you talk about the target first.

Over many years, and in the psychological research I recently read (by Ellen Sanger – The Semantics of Asking A Favour; Journal of Personality and Social Psychology), it is the speaker-centred openers that get the more favourable responses. The target-centred opener was much less favourable in outcome – people rarely complied with the request and mostly did not follow through on the interaction.

This response difference is crucial in pick up because you want to be able to use your opener to subsequently develop your interaction and build attraction, rapport and trust. Therefore, using a speaker-centred opener can help us establish ourselves with the target and build on it. This approach, when used as part of the indirect pick up method, allows us to best avoid being shut down early from an autopilot response.

A speaker-centred opener in a pub/restaurant could be “This is the first time I’ve been in here since we had that birthday party for my niece and everyone got drunk – well the adults, not the kids”

A target-centred opener in a pub/restaurant could be “Is it your first time in here? I haven’t seen you in here before”

In the case of the target-centred opener you are immediately going for rapport without having displayed any value. She might like your looks, but this is not solid game. For solid game we want to rely on our gaming skills. Therefore, by going immediately for rapport and making the subject her, you are positioning yourself to be immediately evaluated i.e. whether she personally wants to reveal information about herself and whether she wants to commit to having a conversation with someone she knows almost nothing about. You could be wonderful to be around or you could be a pain yet she has no time to decide and you force her into a snap decision.

Added to this is if she is already comfortable in her surroundings, or otherwise involved in a social situation, she will quite often choose not to disturb that comfort by breaking off what she was already comfortable doing for the risk of getting involved in new emotions with someone she doesn’t know and has not had even a glimpse of his value to pique her interest.

Using the speaker-centred opener, however, allows your target to become accustomed to your presence, voice and your vibe. It allows her time to notice your fitness traits and, thus your value, before she makes a decision to commit to the interaction by getting involved in the conversation. It allows you to tell a story in a commanding manner, display confident and congruent body language in your interaction with her and let you begin to lead her imagination.

In the psychological tests I mentioned earlier, the results showed that when the interaction began with a speak-centred topic then later progressed to a simple favour request, it was hugely more successful than when a request was made first and then the speaker gave the personal information afterwards. Both the research and my years of in-field experience point to the same result – that giving the person time to adjust to you, sense where you are coming from and see that you have value results in a much higher rate of compliance with your interaction goal.

As part of indirect influence techniques, using a speaker-centred opener can help avoid autopilot shut downs from you target and provides time for you establish your value.

What you say within the speaker-centred opener is also vital because you want to have verbal content that holds her attention and displays value. Let’s look at techniques of what to say by analysing the previous example:

“This is the first time I’ve been in here since we had that birthday party for my niece and everyone got drunk – well the adults, not the kids”

This works as a speaker-centred Neutral Entertaining Opener (see NEOs in ‘Tao of Stevie’) because it relates to the ongoing situation you both find yourselves in and it gives your target a glimpse of who you are, suggesting you have a positively eventful social life and have humour in your personality.

It also allows you to build on the opener – you could go into many related themes depending on your calibration of her response. You could talk about how your niece choked on a piece of chicken and you saved her to everyone’s admiration/how you did magic for the kids and they loved it (then do a mind reading illusion for your target), or how you met this girl and you magically connected etc.

In all cases you want to keep in mind the importance of coming across as confident and relaxed. Being relaxed yourself helps your target to relax. As Ross Jeffries teaches -‘you go first’. Once she is relaxed and enjoying your interaction (because she is sensing you have value) she will be in a position to invest in the interaction of her own volition.

Especially in the early stages of opening, the target will want you to lead and show you are someone worth investing time in. Give yourself the chance to do that by using a speaker-centred opener. Calibrate her response to your leading the interaction to notice when you are in a position to gather verbal information from her. Having gained her personally invested responses, you can leverage your leading with more personalized seduction technologies which meet her specialized, individualistic wants and desires.

SteviePUA

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Latent Desires

Saturday, August 1st, 2009

It’s summer time and people are visiting vacation destinations looking for sun, sea, sand, sex and surf.

There’s something special about going away on that holiday – you’ve been thinking about it and looking forward to it for quite some time. It means different things to different people and most of them know it is a time to relax, unwind and do things they don’t normally get the chance to do. It’s almost as if you are given permission to be someone different, someone you know you really are inside but don’t get a chance to be that person in your usual day to day life.

Being on vacation can allow you to bring out the person hiding inside you, not far beneath the surface. You know this person is always with you and comes out to play sometimes – you indulge yourself from time to time but not nearly as much as you’d like to. Going away to your new place lets that part of you come out much more strongly because you feel it’s allowed, it’s natural and almost expected that you’d act on those desires much more easily while on holiday. Everyone else does it and you know you are willing to indulge yourself too. After all, that is part of what a holiday is meant to be.

*Snap Out of It*

The above is a discussion of holidays and most people can identify with it. There is a part of people that comes out to play while on holiday. But guess what, it is always with them, it just gets suppressed by them in their usual day to day lives.

Depending on which societal norms are imposed on them by their usual existence, people’s impulses are regulated and the societal Matrix tells them they can or can’t do certain things.

How many times have you seen otherwise reserved, uptight or even downright prudish girls go wild on holiday and fall head over heels into a romance that lasts only as long as the vacation? It happens all the time. I’ve done it and met girls in Croatia, Greece, Poland and Italy who were away from home and found it within themselves to be so adventurous and open sexually – in ways they would never dare in their usual lives.

Why might this be? It could be due to a number of factors – people don’t know you on holiday so you don’t have to worry so much about being judged as a slut, you have free time and need to fill it with enjoyable activities, you are more inclined to party because you have no work or responsibilities hanging over you or you have your own hotel room where people can come to sleep with you unnoticed.

These factors allow people to do things on holiday that they would not usually do at home.

But guess what? Those desires do not go away after the holiday is over, nor are they conjured into existance as the jet lowers its undercarriage to touch down in an exotic location. Those desires are suppressed or even repressed by the society and by the individual person who feels the cosh of usual societal expectations. These are often unconsciously imposed and have been  since childhood – little disapproving looks, bad mouthing of people who transgress the unspoken rules and outright hostility to someone who doesn’t follow the rule book. In Sweden, I was amazed at how often I heard ‘Man får inte göra så!’ – ‘One is not allowed to do that’, but with no logical explanation following as to why one could not do the activity, for example talking to people you don’t know on the bus.

It was a societal expectation that operated to restrict people talking to others they did not already know.

For the PUA, one needs to recognise that in many instances, the adventurous person still lies in wait within the girl, even if she is feeling restricted by her present society. Take the example of the American man in Sweden who may have infected around 190 women with HIV:

Associated Press – Tuesday, October 20, 1998

STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) — Police in Sweden searched Tuesday for an 40-year-old American suspected of picking up women at Stockholm nightspots and having unprotected sex even though he knew he was infected with the AIDS virus. Authorities also were trying to locate 190 women listed in the man’s address book.

This case only came to light because the man was found to be infected. Had he not been infected, his deeds would most probably not have been discovered. Here was a man who, despite his atrocious and irresponsible acts, was able to access that adventurous part of the females he seduced. I’ve laid girls on holiday from Sweden and other countries because I was able to tap into that adventurous part of them that comes out to play so easily while on holiday. The abovementioned, unusual case of the infected PUA in Sweden reveals what is possible when one is able to activate the sexually playful part of a female’s mind. Now string that bastard up.

Understand that the Matrix acts to restrict behaviour deemed unacceptable but evolutionarily programmed sexual desires are strong and when brought to the surface can overpower the Matrix, even to the point of accepting unprotected sex with an unknown, but sexually desirable man. Please note I’m not advocating unprotected sex, quite the opposite, actually - I always protect myself with a girl I haven’t known long term.

The wider point is our desires need an outlet and are not far beneath the surface. Given the right circumstances, e.g. on holiday or when activated by a skilled PUA, they can willingly be brought forth and acted upon.

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