I’m struck between how a balance of cockiness and an ability to tone it down (in that sequence) empowers a sarger running solid game. Going through my mind a lot recently, for some reason, has been the idea that ‘If YOU don’t believe in yourself, then no one else will!’
Would you ever believe in the personal power of someone else if they appeared to totally lack that belief themselves? I wouldn’t. Start acting as if you believe in yourself!
A number of years back, I was sarging a girl with a great body and a reasonable face. It was her body that drew me in, I admit.
I knew her brother from our school days. She and I were waiting for the train home after an evening out. I was quite confident then, but less so than now. Even then, though, I picked up on her low self-esteem. I remember wondering at the time how a girl with a body like that could lack self-esteem. But she did.
She was so worried about her hair, how people would see her and whether she would fit into the ‘scene’, whatever that was. As she was recounting her fears-about-nothing, I was trying to look at my own reflection in a glass pane in the station – trying to figure out if I looked good enough for this chick.
Then one of those rare moments of absolute clarity hit me (regular clarify is commonplace). This chick, and chicks like her, are so obsessed with how they look that they have almost no interest in how other people look. My target was so interested in her own appearance as a source of attraction power that she spent no time thinking about how the guys looked. It was all about her. I’d been worrying about very little. After this realisation, I noticed it very often.
So, from then on I looked after myself and how I looked but I didn’t obsess about it as I’d done up to that point. I ate well, worked out and bought new clothes every now and then but I’d realised something from observing how this chick and others like her, thought.
They were, on the one hand, so interested in boosting their own appearance and yet also so insecure that they had no time or interest in judging how other people looked. Secondly, I saw that how these PUA guys LOOKED was of less import to the chicks than how the guys ACTED and that drew me onto analysing PUA beliefs, behaviours, personality conveyance, body language and frame control which seemed, and continue to seem, far more powerful than any physical look.
It’s all worth bearing in mind when you hit the field.
SteviePUA